As a life coach, many times I have tried to explain what I do to others. While I don’t exactly stand in the field and yell instructions, telling you how to live your life, I do help you sort out what You want in Your life, find your path,and pull you up off the floor when you trip over obstacles.
Usually I find that people who are asking me about life coaching seem confused. They will say things like “I hate my life!” (frustrated frown and occasionally arm waving) or “This isn’t the life I would have chosen” (and yet, they did) or “I’m miserable all the time.” They follow up those statements by saying “I don’t see how I can ever get the life I want!” or “I don’t know what I want but I definitely don’t want what I have! (finger jabbed in air to say “I really mean it!!”) or “I’ve tried to change my life but I’m not making any headway. I don’t know what to do.” It seems like their lives are full of angry bosses, crowded homes, too much to do, and complaining partners. In other words, Chaos!
You Gotta Have Hope!
A feeling of helplessness. I see it in their faces. And I long to reach out and say “But you CAN do it! Deep down (but not impossibly deep) you know what you need and what you want. You may not see how to get there from here, but you are seeing the signs of dissatisfaction, which also means that you know there is another way of living your life. You may need to do some major digging and exploring or you may just need some tweaks here and there or some validation and courage that Yes, you can. You can have a life that’s energized by being on your path and open to gifts and challenges as they occur.
Can You See Where You Are?
If you can reach clarity on who you are, where you are now, and what you are spending your life energy on, then you can proceed to achieving clarity on your inner inspiration and what you deeply want. This light can shine on the next step on your path, and the next, and the next…you see where I’m going…and you’ll see where you’re going! Soon you’ll be living an inspired life!
If it’s Possible, Why Not Do It?
As the song says, “I gotta be Me!” Alfred Adler said something like “If you spit in your soup, you can still eat it, but it won’t be as tasty as before.” In other words, if you see your dissatisfaction clearly, this decreases the chances that you will continue to spend your energy on the behaviors that allow your problems to exist and grow.
I love that quote! It’s true in my experience and it can lead you to finding a wonderful you! If you don’t like where you are, why not go someplace else? Once you’ve seen what doesn’t work, it’s time to make conscious choices based on your current values (perhaps not the same as your parents or your own values from an earlier you). Find Your inspiration! Put your heart into it!
Don’t Let Fear Hold You Back!!
I have found that if I choose an action based on fear, it will not serve me well. I need to find a place of openness and move forward because it’s a conscious choice and flows from living my values and spiritual life. Many people (like me) use this search as a spiritual practice. But you can approach it any way you want. Just don’t let fear about unknowns hold you back from your dreams and your life!
Won’t This Affects Others?
That’s a big fear for most people in relationships. Yes, what we do does affect other people in our lives, often ones we care deeply about. And yet…each of us has the task of living our own lives–being our unique selves.
It takes a great deal of courage to live who you are and allow others to be who they are. You will not always agree–you are different people. All of us standing around the Elephant of Life see different parts–waving trunk, scary tusks, dancing tail, etc. But when you love someone, you want the best for them. Seeing deeply into your differences can make you both stronger and more understanding and accepting. You will probably find that your goals are similar but your ways to achieve them differ. And you will find that it is possible to live your life in the midst of different views. We can all broaden our views of the elephant and be OK with our different positions.
I’m Not Kidding
It IS possible to get from chaos to clarity! We’re fortunate– we always have choices and we can find our answers within us. We don’t have to go out and try to find opportunities to explore and grow, they come to us every day.
There is help all around us. If we’re not focusing on what we don’t like and are open to being aware of what and why we say and do, we will begin to move some of the clouds out of our vision. Don’t hesitate to ask for help! I’ve gotten truckloads of help along my path, and am sooo grateful for all of the insights, great questions, and support! You’re not stuck if you have a lifeline to pull you out– and what person drowning in a chaotic life wouldn’t want to get back on solid ground and take great big gulps of life-giving air?
You CAN get from here to there–from Chaos to Clarity!