Tag Archives: life coaching

From Chaos to Clarity? Are you kidding?!!

As a life coach, many times I have tried to explain what I do to others. While I don’t exactly stand in the field and yell instructions, telling you how to live your life, I do help you sort out what You want in Your life, find your path,and pull you up off the floor when you trip over obstacles.

Chaos Reigns

Usually I find that people who are asking me about life coaching seem confused. They will say things like “I hate my life!” (frustrated frown and occasionally arm waving) or “This isn’t the life I would have chosen” (and yet, they did) or “I’m miserable all the time.” They follow up those statements by saying “I don’t see how I can ever get the life I want!” or “I don’t know what I want but I definitely don’t want what I have! (finger jabbed in air to say “I really mean it!!”) or “I’ve tried to change my life but I’m not making any headway. I don’t know what to do.” It seems like their lives are full of angry bosses, crowded homes, too much to do, and complaining partners. In other words, Chaos!

You Gotta Have Hope!

A feeling of helplessness. I see it in their faces. And I long to reach out and say “But you CAN do it! Deep down (but not impossibly deep) you know what you need and what you want. You may not see how to get there from here, but you are seeing the signs of dissatisfaction, which also means that you know there is another way of living your life. You may need to do some major digging and exploring or you may just need some tweaks here and there or some validation and courage that Yes, you can. You can have a life that’s energized by being on your path and open to gifts and challenges as they occur.

Can You See Where You Are?

If you can reach clarity on who you are, where you are now, and what you are spending your life energy on, then you can proceed to achieving clarity on your inner inspiration and what you deeply want. This light can shine on the next step on your path, and the next, and the next…you see where I’m going…and you’ll see where you’re going! Soon you’ll be living an inspired life!

If it’s Possible, Why Not Do It?

As the song says, “I gotta be Me!” Alfred Adler said something like “If you spit in your soup, you can still eat it, but it won’t be as tasty as before.” In other words, if you see your dissatisfaction clearly, this decreases the chances that you will continue to spend your energy on the behaviors that allow your problems to exist and grow.

I love that quote! It’s true in my experience and it can lead you to finding a wonderful you! If you don’t like where you are, why not go someplace else? Once you’ve seen what doesn’t work, it’s time to make conscious choices based on your current values (perhaps not the same as your parents or your own values from an earlier you).  Find Your inspiration! Put your heart into it!

Don’t Let Fear Hold You Back!!

I have found that if I choose an action based on fear, it will not serve me well. I need to find a place of openness and move forward because it’s a conscious choice and flows from living my values and spiritual life.  Many people (like me) use this search as a spiritual practice. But you can approach it any way you want. Just don’t let fear about unknowns hold you back from your dreams and your life!

Won’t This Affects Others?

That’s a big fear for most people in relationships. Yes, what we do does affect other people in our lives, often ones we care deeply about. And yet…each of us has the task of living our own lives–being our unique selves.

It takes a great deal of courage to live who you are and allow others to be who they are. You will not always agree–you are different people. All of us standing around the Elephant of Life see different parts–waving trunk, scary tusks, dancing tail, etc. But when you love someone, you want the best for them.  Seeing deeply into your differences can make you both stronger and more understanding and accepting. You will probably find that your goals are similar but your ways to achieve them differ. And you will find that it is possible to live your life in the midst of different views. We can all broaden our views of the elephant and be OK with our different positions.

I’m Not Kidding

It IS possible to get from chaos to clarity! We’re fortunate– we always have choices and we can find our answers within us. We don’t have to go out and try to find opportunities to explore and grow, they come to us every day.

There is help all around us.  If we’re not focusing on what we don’t like and are open to being aware of what and why we say and do, we will begin to move some of the clouds out of our vision. Don’t hesitate to ask for help! I’ve gotten truckloads of help along my path, and am sooo grateful for all of the insights, great questions, and support!  You’re not stuck if you have a lifeline to pull you out– and what person drowning in a chaotic life wouldn’t want to get back on solid ground and take great big gulps of life-giving air?

Bottom line…

You CAN get from here to there–from Chaos to Clarity!

How do I know my decision is right for ME?

It can be tough to make decisions that will impact a number of areas in your life and those around you. A decision can become more complex the deeper you dig. You have to make some difficult choices about how you will live your life, what values you will consider as touchstones, and what risks you are willing to take. A list of the pros and cons may seem incomplete.

How do you make a decision that will not only look good on the outside but feel good on the inside? There is no definitive answer to that question, but you can find out for yourself. Let me give you an example of how one client corrected what might have been a poor decision for who she is.

An unexpected opportunity

A couple of years ago, my client was given a great job opportunity. She was offered a job which took advantage of the skills she had learned over 15 years in her current position and would promote her to management. There would be a raise in pay which would increase over two years, dependent upon her performance. She was excited about being in a leadership position. She hadn’t thought of herself as a manger before, so the offer took her by surprise.

When we met, her eyes shining, she talked about the advantages of the new job and the opportunities it presented in terms of the higher salary and recognition.  Although a little nervous, after reflection she thought that she was up to the challenge and that she could do all of the things the job entailed. She thought she was ready to accept the offer. However, days and then a week went by and she dragged her feet in responding to the offer.

When I asked her what was stopping her, she shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know.” She looked puzzled.

Check in with your body

I asked her to check in with her body and see what it had to say. Often we tend to rely on intellectual reasoning, advice, and “shoulds” and ignore what our bodies have to tell us.  I told her to focus on where there was tension in her body and the quality of that energy for a few minutes and see what she could learn. She said that there was a surface layer of excitement, but below that there was a hesitancy pulling back part of her energy. She felt uneasy about something, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. Her body was warning her of some aspect that wouldn’t be a fit for her.

Project yourself into a decision

I suggested that since she had already looked at the terms of the offer, she should now close her eyes and project herself into that job several months into it.  She should take as much time as she needed to watch herself move through what would be a typical work day in this new position. After several minutes, she opened her eyes. She gave a little laugh with a frown and said that it was hard to project what might happen since she hadn’t done this job before, but that her day was okay…and her voice trailed off. She still couldn’t put her finger on what was causing her to be hesitant.

Does this decision match who you are?

I told her to close her eyes again, only this time she should imagine that she had the perfect job for her, for who she was. She shouldn’t worry about trying to decide what kind of work she was involved in before she started the visualization, but just start through her perfect work day. When did she get up? What clothes did she put on? Where did she go? What kind of building was it? What did she do once she went through the doors? Who was there? Where did she eat lunch and with whom, etc.

She settled in for another round and several minutes later, her eyes flew open. “I know what it is that bothers me! I’m not in an office by myself in front of a computer. I’m picking up some materials and going back out to my car. I go to see people at their places of work. I wouldn’t be happy sitting in an office by myself every day. I’d be miserable and always finding excuses to go to where other people were hanging out.”

Decisions which are right for you

My client longed for more direct human contact and physical movement at her job than this offer would provide. She decided it wasn’t the right offer—for her, but she felt that she could do better than her current job. She started looking around for other jobs that could use her skills and give her the freedom that she wanted. Ironically, at that point, one of the things she had to deal with was how other people would have dealt with the “great” job offer, but thanks to her body check she knew in her heart that she had made the right decision–for her.

A “Good” Decision

For my client, a good decision was based on both checking in with what her body was trying to tell her and projecting the details of her choice into the future to see how they felt. She needed help in acknowledging what her body was trying to communicate and in following through with a decision that was right for who she was. A decision based on external factors only, without including what your heart and your sense of yourself have to say, is a decision that will fail to satisfy you.

It’s wonderful that we all carry around with us a body which gives us physical clues to what’s right–or wrong–for us. Don’t forget to check inside when making choices!


Living an Inspired Life

Do you want to live a more spirit-based life?

Perhaps you’re unsure how to start, or you’ve tried various approaches but lost your way or have gotten stuck. As someone who desires to change the way you live your life or is facing a significant transition, all the advice you get can’t prepare you for the challenges you will face as you sort out the many options, decisions and obstacles.

If you want to make your life more congruent with your values or are facing difficult transitions such as finding a job, divorce, retirement, moving your work into your home or any significant change in your life, you may feel overwhelmed. Feeling confused, lost and unsure can make it even more difficult to make appropriate choices that will work for you and others in your life. You may even become dis-connected with your initial inspiration and goals.

From Chaos to Clarity

If you wish to see clearly how you want to live and how to make wise choices to move you in that direction—you can.  You are not alone. I can help you clarify your vision and incorporate inspiration as you search for how to follow your heart and make changes in your life.

That’s the goal of Inspired Life Transitions–to help the Real You live an inspired life!

Send me an email to find out more!